Marriageology

February 11, 2019
Time magazine editor-at-large Luscombe debuts with a vibrant and engrossing look at marriage that combines her own experiences with current research and commentary by experts. Luscombe explores six main subjects “coincidentally” all starting with the letter F: familiarity, fighting, finances, family, fooling around, and finding help. Those who can effectively deal with these topics, she asserts, have a greater chance of marital longevity. In the chapter on fighting, for example, Luscombe notes that all married couples argue: she provides practical tips on how to fight fair, including advice on when to fight (not when hungry, over the phone, or while driving—eye contact is helpful). Luscombe delivers a satisfying mix of humorous anecdotes (she and her husband frequently battle over the use of butter), sage advice (learn to forgive and say thank you), and research (stats reveal that married couples are healthier and wealthier than their unmarried counterparts). Her comparisons are clever and spot on: divorcing, she writes, may look simple, in the way buying new headphones seems easier than untangling the old. Luscombe’s colorful and well-researched text paints a positive picture for the future of a “fusty old institution.” Agent: Betsy Lerner, Dunow, Carlson & Lerner.

April 15, 2019
Six areas that need special attention if a marriage is to last a lifetime. In her debut book, Time editor at large Luscombe has identified six different subjects she feels couples must master: "familiarity, fighting, finances, family, fooling around, and finding help." Taking each topic in turn, the author interweaves stories of her own relationship with her husband with research and tales from other couples. This provides readers with an in-depth analysis of what works and doesn't work in each scenario. Luscombe also sprinkles in some droll humor, which helps break up the seriousness inherent in the topic. As the author demonstrates, familiarity and fighting appear to go hand in hand. Often, we get so used to our partner that we forget what made us attracted to them in the first place. Eventually, we create a negative image and stick with it. Money is an issue regardless of whether both partners work or one works and the other stays home with the children. Luscombe notes that it's important to address wage discrepancies and the fact that more women feel less dependent on a spouse when they earn their own income. To prevent infidelity, couples need to talk about sex, make time for it, and understand that men and women usually have different levels of desire. For those couples who need it, Luscombe recommends couples therapy; having an unbiased outsider look at a relationship's pressure points can help move partners back onto a better path together. "People who are happily paired with another live longer and are healthier, richer, and more satisfied with their life, in the main, than people who are singles or whose relationships don't last," writes the author. "Their kids are more likely to thrive. They have more sex." Using her suggestions, many couples will be able to weather the ebb and flow of their relationship and stick with it. Though Luscombe doesn't break much new ground in the genre, she provides informative, helpful advice on how to maintain a marriage for the long haul.

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