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How to Leave the House

A Novel

Audiobook
2 of 2 copies available
2 of 2 copies available
“Profound—and profoundly sidesplitting.” —Bobby Finger, The New York Times
It's Natwest's last day before he leaves for university, and there's only one thing on his mind: the deeply embarrassing package he ordered to his house—which still hasn't arrived. He won't leave town without it. Any alternative is too distressing to consider. . .

This is the story of twenty-four hours in the life of Natwest, and his small-town odyssey in pursuit of the missing package. And yet it's also the story of a middle-aged dentist who dreams of being a respected artist—but the only thing he can seem to paint is the human mouth. And it's the story of a tortured imam involved in a quasi-romantic entanglement with the local vicar; and an octogenerian mourning the death of her secretive husband; and a troubled teenager whose nudes have leaked on the internet. It's the story of Natwest's obnoxious ex-boyfriend, and his class-traitor mother and her childhood boyfriend, and the life-changing secrets he knows about Natwest's past.
Alternating between Natwest's idiosyncratic inner world and the perspectives of the other characters—and dazzling in its energy, imagination and originality—this is an outrageously funny and tenderly moving story about being connected to everyone and everything at all times; about love, friendship, and the lies we tell ourselves; about unhappy endings, happy endings—and whether anything really is as simple as one or the other.
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    • Publisher's Weekly

      June 17, 2024
      Newman debuts with a witty and endearing mosaic novel centered on a young gay man’s desperate quest to avoid embarrassment. Natwest, 23, who’s nicknamed after the U.K. bank, is set to leave his mother’s house for his delayed start to university, but not before he tracks down the large dildo that was scheduled for delivery the day prior (“Humiliation, which was lurking around the corner of his life at all times, was now very much on his doorstep”). It turns out the package was mistakenly picked up by his dentist, Dr. Hung. As Natwest tries to claim the package from Hung’s office, where his mother works as a nurse, he encounters people whose stories Newman continues in chapters devoted to their perspectives. Among them are Mishaal, a film student turned imam who secretly watches classic movies with a Christian reverend; Lily, a crying teen Natwest comforts at a bus stop, who’s being extorted by someone she met online and sent nude photos to; and Hung, an amateur painter fixated on gaping mouths. The situations are enjoyably farcical, but there’s also depth to them, as Newman delves into his characters’ hidden passions and shows how they grapple with their self-defeating choices. This raucous adventure is great fun. Agent: Charlie Brotherstone, Aevitas U.K.

    • AudioFile Magazine
      Employing a calm, straightforward delivery, English actor Christian Coulson nicely balances the author's fine ear for language and spirited descriptions with this novel's tangled plot and boisterous LGBTQ+ humor. In a 24-hour period, a lonely, clever 23-year-old who still lives with his mother sets out in search of a package he wants no one to see; meets a menagerie of charming, off-the-wall characters; and must decide whether to return to his university in the morning. Imogen Wilde nicely delivers a chapter that focuses on a teen whose nudes are displayed on the Internet. This novel is friendly, bawdy, surreal, campy, and brave all at once. Think James Joyce's ULYSSES for Gen Z. B.P. © AudioFile 2024, Portland, Maine

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Languages

  • English

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